The Balancing Act

So sorry that I’ve been MIA from my blog. Finally finished with my summer classes along with my hardest class in my Master’s program that involved a 46-page paper on retention efforts in higher education. O_O

Anywho, I’ve stepped up my workout game over the past few weeks. I officially began training for Rock ‘n Roll Savannah, I’ve been swimming, lifting weights in the gym and I’m going to get a bike to add another dimension to my workouts. I’ve finally started to get into a routine and now I’m starting to feel the pangs of workout obsession. šŸ˜¦

Now for some this would be a good thing. Yay that I’m so physically active and caring about my health. However for me all it does is remind me of high school when I had less than healthy eating and exercise habits.

The technical term is exercise bulimia. Basically I ate as little as possible and exercised as much as possible. Playing three different sports year round this wasn’t hard to do. Every day for lunch I ate the same thing. A ham sandwich with only 1 slice of ham and nothing else, a bag of chips, and a slim fast shake. I didn’t eat breakfast and I ate two granola bars. One as a snack before lunch and one as a snack afterwards. I can remember thinking that I just wanted to be thin. It was frustrating because I still felt bigger then my “skinny” peers largely in part of the fact that I had muscle mass. And I was a size 6. Which is almost a 10. Which as far as I was concerned is huge.Ā All I wanted was the body of the women in magazines. Muscular but still very thin.

Fast forward to today. I went to the gym for my swim lessons where we swam a few laps and then left for a meeting. Throughout the entire meeting I began feeling guilty because I did’t do any weight training like I should have. Then I started getting anxious because I won’t be able to run tomorrow morning due to a work event. I’ve even found myself counting calories more often. So here I am once again trying to find a balance between being healthy and physically fit and not becoming obsessive with it. :/

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