Insanity

I’m convinced that QVC is one of those time suck shows. There’s never anything really interesting on the show but you can’t help but watch as the salespeople sell any and everything ranging from Fit Flops to at-Home Laser Hair Removal Kits (These still worry me a great deal) and knives that can slice a cantaloupe in mid air (which does not actually happen in real life. Trust me on that). Some days I spend hours at a time watching the sales counter rise and listening to their testimonials. Anyhow, yesterday morning I turned on my TV and the QVC channel was on. At first I thought this was odd because it  was not the last channel I had watched the night before. But little did I know that QVC would be foreshadowing the nights events.

I didn’t turn the channel immediately because I saw that they were advertising the P90X program. I have heard lots about this program. It’s intense, it works your entire body, you break a sweat within the first 5 minutes and the results are extraordinary. That is if you finish the full 90 day program. I would personally consider myself a fairly fit person. I run 4 times a week, I’ve run several half marathons and completed my first marathon at Disney World a week ago (It’s even more magical running through the parks at 6am). I’ll talk more about my running and why I run in a later post. In any case, I try to be physically active. But running can get a little mundane after a while. As with most exercises that you do over and over again, you begin to only target certain muscle groups and stop seeing the improvement you saw when you first began. So I decided to listen to what the man was saying. Anthony is his name I think, the P90X guy I mean.

So as I’m watching Anthony and the not so fit QVC host talk about the program I’m observing the “props” in the back demonstrating the moves. They were up, they were done, they were jumping in place, then they were curling weights, then they had resistance bands. Needless to say they only slowed down to move when they were moving from one exercise to the next. I was intrigued by the program but I had heard about all of the extra equipment needed. I have free weights and a resistance band. But a curl up bar? Is that something that comes with most people’s homes or apartments? Didn’t think so. But apparently there are kinds that just rest on the top of your door frame that you can use that require no nails to install. Pause. Does that sound strange to anyone else? Or better yet, does that sound safe? I can see myself now, “installing” this pull-up bar above my door frame, doing 2 reps (probably only half a rep actually) and then all of a sudden feeling a split second of weightlessness as I crash to the floor still gripping the bar as I yelp and gasp for air while my dog comes to my rescue, licks my face and then returns to his bed while I lay there still waiting for the stars to go away. Hmm yea..I’ll pass on that.

As I continued listening to them talk about the benefits and hear customer testimonials, I remember a friend posting on her facebook that she was doing a program called Insanity. “That shit is bananas yo.” Watch the video. If you don’t chuckle at that line then you will surely chuckle at the instructors grunting/growling noise. In any case the program is a lot like P90X except you don’t have to buy any equipment and you still get great results. So long story short, my Insanity workout program should be arriving in the next 5-8 days. So why does this have to do anything with that evening? Two words. Golden Globes.

I’ll admit I don’t watch awards shows as much as I used to. I used to look forward to the Golden Globes, Emmy’s, Oscars, and SAG Awards. However that was before they began hiring hosts that had you flinching at some of the funny yet highly offensive jokes they would make. While I enjoy a good roast, there’s a fine line. In any case, I still enjoy tuning into the pre-show or the Red Carpet Extravaganza! Too be honest, I almost forgot that the Golden Globes were last night until a friend of mine tweeted about it. I was too busy watching Real Housewives of Atlanta (yep, I’m a fan), but as soon as it was off I turned the channel. *sigh* And here’s where things began to head south.

One of the first things I noticed was that everyone looked a lot nicer this year than they did last year. No one looks crazy! Cue Helena Bonham Carter. But you know what, I love her! She’s quirky! And consistently quirky at that. We need quirky now that Bjork and her swan are no longer gracing the red carpet.

Helena Bonham Carter

However, after Helena passed so did my upbeat mood. You remember when curves were in? When J.Lo, Beyonce, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Scarlett Johansson were adored for their amazing bodies? Welp thin was definitely back in this year. And while I couldn’t help but Ooo and Aaah at every dress I saw. I also couldn’t help but notice how small they looked. (Disclaimer: nothing wrong with being small)

And so it began…

Olivia Wilde. Her shoes were adorable

Giuliana Rancic

Julie Bowen from Modern Family

I love Modern Family.

Emma Stone

I like her better as a redhead. But that’s just my opinion. Beautiful color on her.

Naya Rivera from Glee

And I won’t even include the picture of Halle Berry, who as far as I’m concerned would look beautiful even in a trash bag. But it was somewhere between these women walking the red carpet that I moved from my comfy spot on the couch to the floor doing scissor kicks, bicycles, and planks like my life depended on it.

So now I anxiously await my Insane ass-kicking-in-a-box package to arrive. I’m quite certain that the day after I do my first workout will be utterly painful but I’ll make sure to update you all with details.

🙂

Advertisements